My name is Clifford Horner. Im 87 years old. When I was 5 years old I was sold to a white men whose name was Dickson Morse. It took almost three days to get to the south. when we got to the south it was full of beautiful rich houses with nice cut grass and sorrounded with a lot of big, green trees. Later around 6:00 p.m. Dickson Morse gave me a delicious plate of dinner, and then he showed me his room. The room was dark and creepy it was filled with spiderwebs, and with a 6 times 4 window.
The next day was not as good as the day before. My owner Dickson Morse took me to my job. My job was to work on aplantation picking up cotton. I worked for hours and hours on the sun with out stoping. After a while my owner started wiping me , and not giving me nothing to eat. when i turn 12 my owner die of a fever. i was then set free. At first I was so exited because Ithought that I would had a chance to meet my family again. Unfortunately I didn't until I was 18 yeras old. I sometimes consider my self as a lucky men since my life was not as cruel as other's slave lifes.
http://wps.ablongman.com/long_divine_app_7/20/5192/1329258.cw/index.html
4 comments:
Hey Juan. Well the narrative isn't that bad, but its missing feeling and vivid words (Can't image when I read it). The story to me also is missing a abuse towards the slave or family member, think of something else that masters did to their slaves besides whipping them when they got in trouble. Also try to put feeling into the narrative, because when I read it, it was just a story it had no message for the readers nor feelings intended to be felt. Juan, put your self in their "shoes" think what they felt when being whipped, think of how they felt when they were separated from their families. Well keep going, Eugenio.
juan the narrative isn't that bad it have the wipping of the master to the slaves and also you did not put links. also put suff to make the reader sad like felings,and more.
good story but sad to he didn't meet his parents until 18 years old. The title you give it's funny.Next time write a story with a stronger resolution.
hey juan i think that your story was good, but lik the people in the bottom were saying you need to make it like more realistic so that when you read it you can imagine what the person was goin through if you know what i mean but everything was good
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